Published February 13, 2010
Hello! Please read and give any criticisms you see or can think off. Of course, if you see anything I did well also comment on that 
. I would like to thank anyone who reads this and I hope you enjoy it.
I wish to be lost,
to sink,
to swim,
to rise,
to fly,
to fall upon the disturbed earth,
to crawl,
to stand,
to run,
to leap,
arms outstretched,
legs and feet, letting go of the weightless ground.
My eyes, filling with the forgiving rays of sunlight.
Tears of joy,
falling in a warm shower,
lighting my path,
shining,
glistening.
As if a thousand diamonds
revel together
dancing to some silent, loud and most magical tune
In a festival, celebrating the inevitable:
new life.
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140,903 Literary Works • 673,706 Reviews
Thank you, Dreamy. I'll put in the corrections you suggested and any other needed punctuations.
Hi! Dreamy here!I'll be your reviewer today.
On to your poem! I thought it was nice. My main problem: your punctuation. In some spots you had it, some you didn't either use it everywhere or nowhere. For example:
You use a period after "glistening", but not after "new life". Please fix that, plus in a few other places.
Otherwise, nice job. Your poem was a nice, uplifting little read. Keep writing!
--Dreamy
Thank You, Lily. That means a lot! I will definetly keep writing
Also your avatar is very nce
I love it! It really expressis how you are, and what you are longing for. I love it, and I can relate! keep on writing!
